Ok, so, more thoughts from last week's post.
(A lot of these thoughts are taken straight out of my Bible study book - Live a Praying Life by Jennifer Kennedy Dean)
- The bad things in this life are just things that happen. Yes, they're terrible and often unfair in more than one way, but they are involved with the will of God.
- God is always working out His will in our lives - it's just usually not in the ways we would imagine. How God does his will is up to Him. I cannot control or tell Him how to accomplish His plan. He will do His will in His way.
- Waiting - while I wait for the next step in my life, there are so many things that I want for myself and have prayed for. Usually, I have a plan of what I want to happen and how I want it to happen. And the "bad things" are not ever in my plan and I think that's part of where my frustration stems from.
Through the study from the last week, I have discovered several encouraging verses that I believe back up my thoughts on God's Will and refresh my faith that God does know what he's doing.
1. Genesis 37 - Exodus 1: The Story of Joseph - God told him that he would bring about great things in his life. Joseph did not know that he would be thrown in a hole, sold by his brothers who hated him, be the servant of the king, be wrongly accused of a crime, and go to jail all before "good" things started happening. After this he became a great rule and spared the country from famine. But I'm sure that he didn't see his life of greatness for the bottom of a pit where his brothers argued over how much they were going to sell him for.
2. Romans 11:33-34: O the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out.
3. Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.
These verses remind me that while I may have absolutely no understanding of what God is up to, that He still knows. That He is still in control and that I just need to remind myself, mostly daily, of the plans that He has for me - to give me HOPE and a FUTURE.
Nov 3, 2010
Oct 27, 2010
So...
I promised a second post and it is coming - I just haven't had time to process my thoughts completely yet...Hope to get that up and going this weekend!
Oct 18, 2010
I’ve been thinking about something recently. My feelings are going to be blatantly obvious after I finish writing this post but I’m pretty curious about your thoughts on this topic. I also will probably add to and review this 100 times before I actually post it because this is kind of a new subject for me and I want to be very clear about what I believe and what I feel. I also want to be clear about what Jesus says about this. I do not enter into this lightly. This will be a two part post with Part II being a Scripture based review of these thoughts - not just my personal thoughts. This is heavy – are you ready?
Part I: My feelings
I’m doing a Bible study with some girls that are new friends of mine. The study that we chose this fall is about prayer and the first two weeks of it kind of blew me out of the water. I really enjoyed them and doing the study every night was kind of a relaxing thing for me. After the first few weeks, the study got to be pretty difficult and challenging. Challenging because it makes me think about things in a different way and really challenge myself to be called to a higher life of prayer in Jesus – not one where I simply ask him for things – but a real life of prayer, every day. Last week the study was about relinquishing control of the things we want for ourselves and giving them over to God, who wants great things for us! More than we can possibly ask or imagine (See Ephesians 3:20)! The last thing that you were supposed to do every day was to write down a prayer for your life, a want, a desire, and then in red pen write over it - “Lord, I surrender to you”. I thought it was a great exercise in realizing that I didn’t have control anyway and that the good things that I want for my life are tiny in comparison to the great things that God has planned for me.
Anyway – we got to talking about stuff and some girls mentioned living a life of fear, rather than relinquishing control to God, because of what God might do to them as a punishment for the sin in their lives, to teach them a lesson – in a way.
I’ll give a little and say that the terrible things in this world are a direct result of sin as a whole, like starting with Adam and Eve and continuing through me. I'm not trying to say that there are not consequences to sin. And I’m not trying to say that I do not sin. But, should I dare think that when I lose my job 2 days after I bought my first home, when my niece dies or when my house is broken into and the things that I hold most dear are stolen, that it is a direct result of sin in my life? Should I dare to think that God is sitting back in heaven saying, well, “Marie...I told you to love me with all of your heart and I noticed that you’ve really been saving a piece of your heart for all the lovely things that you own so, I’m gonna take all your jewelry and see how much of your heart you can devote to that now!” Ok, that’s a little extreme and pretty cynical, I know, but can I really live a life of fear thinking “Oh great...what’s God gonna to do me for that one or for those 1,000 different things that I said or thought today?”
I believe that God lets stuff happen to us and that, as a result, we can grow closer to Him. I believe that He can use the crappy things in our lives to teach us about His love, to help us grow as Christians and people, to be able to love others in a better way. But does he really make bad things happen to us a result of sin in our lives? Can I believe that my friend with cancer has cancer BECAUSE he has sinned or because I have sinned, for that matter, which is kind of contradictory to one of my statements above. I can’t believe that my brother and sister in law lost their child because they have sinned or because Maeve had sinned. Yes, we are all born with a sinful nature. Yes, we are all sinners. Am I thinking about this in the wrong way? Is it some terrible form of discipline? I hate to use the word punishment because I can’t bear to think of it that way...What about my friend’s Mom who’s had breast cancer? Or my friend who can’t find a job after looking for 3 years? Or my friend that hates his job. Or what about my family member that struggles with depression? Or what about the unexpected death of my young neighbor? Are these things brought about as a punishment for a life of sin?
I thought Jesus paid the ransom.
Part I: My feelings
I’m doing a Bible study with some girls that are new friends of mine. The study that we chose this fall is about prayer and the first two weeks of it kind of blew me out of the water. I really enjoyed them and doing the study every night was kind of a relaxing thing for me. After the first few weeks, the study got to be pretty difficult and challenging. Challenging because it makes me think about things in a different way and really challenge myself to be called to a higher life of prayer in Jesus – not one where I simply ask him for things – but a real life of prayer, every day. Last week the study was about relinquishing control of the things we want for ourselves and giving them over to God, who wants great things for us! More than we can possibly ask or imagine (See Ephesians 3:20)! The last thing that you were supposed to do every day was to write down a prayer for your life, a want, a desire, and then in red pen write over it - “Lord, I surrender to you”. I thought it was a great exercise in realizing that I didn’t have control anyway and that the good things that I want for my life are tiny in comparison to the great things that God has planned for me.
Anyway – we got to talking about stuff and some girls mentioned living a life of fear, rather than relinquishing control to God, because of what God might do to them as a punishment for the sin in their lives, to teach them a lesson – in a way.
I’ll give a little and say that the terrible things in this world are a direct result of sin as a whole, like starting with Adam and Eve and continuing through me. I'm not trying to say that there are not consequences to sin. And I’m not trying to say that I do not sin. But, should I dare think that when I lose my job 2 days after I bought my first home, when my niece dies or when my house is broken into and the things that I hold most dear are stolen, that it is a direct result of sin in my life? Should I dare to think that God is sitting back in heaven saying, well, “Marie...I told you to love me with all of your heart and I noticed that you’ve really been saving a piece of your heart for all the lovely things that you own so, I’m gonna take all your jewelry and see how much of your heart you can devote to that now!” Ok, that’s a little extreme and pretty cynical, I know, but can I really live a life of fear thinking “Oh great...what’s God gonna to do me for that one or for those 1,000 different things that I said or thought today?”
I believe that God lets stuff happen to us and that, as a result, we can grow closer to Him. I believe that He can use the crappy things in our lives to teach us about His love, to help us grow as Christians and people, to be able to love others in a better way. But does he really make bad things happen to us a result of sin in our lives? Can I believe that my friend with cancer has cancer BECAUSE he has sinned or because I have sinned, for that matter, which is kind of contradictory to one of my statements above. I can’t believe that my brother and sister in law lost their child because they have sinned or because Maeve had sinned. Yes, we are all born with a sinful nature. Yes, we are all sinners. Am I thinking about this in the wrong way? Is it some terrible form of discipline? I hate to use the word punishment because I can’t bear to think of it that way...What about my friend’s Mom who’s had breast cancer? Or my friend who can’t find a job after looking for 3 years? Or my friend that hates his job. Or what about my family member that struggles with depression? Or what about the unexpected death of my young neighbor? Are these things brought about as a punishment for a life of sin?
I thought Jesus paid the ransom.
Oct 4, 2010
Frustration & The Latest
So, I am FRUSTRATED because BLOGGER will not let me upload photos for some weird reason...
Any suggestions?
(I am beginning to think that this is a computer issue - not an internet issue)
I was going to upload some photos from the past few weeks. I haven't been home to Knoxville in about two weeks! I've been to Greer for Caldwell's Birthday party, to Greenville for a rockin' Harvest Moon Party, I've been to Waynesville for work, I've been to Boston for Vacation, and now I'm in Chattanooga for work! Whew - I'm exhausted even after writing this! I've got several good photos that I'll add to this post, as soon as I figure out how!
Any suggestions?
(I am beginning to think that this is a computer issue - not an internet issue)
I was going to upload some photos from the past few weeks. I haven't been home to Knoxville in about two weeks! I've been to Greer for Caldwell's Birthday party, to Greenville for a rockin' Harvest Moon Party, I've been to Waynesville for work, I've been to Boston for Vacation, and now I'm in Chattanooga for work! Whew - I'm exhausted even after writing this! I've got several good photos that I'll add to this post, as soon as I figure out how!
Sep 21, 2010
One Day....
You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will
You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet
One day you will
Oh one day you will
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will
You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet
One day you will
Oh one day you will
Sep 15, 2010
A New Heart...
I'm in a Bible Study and we just started a new book called Live a Praying Life by Jennifer Kennedy Dean. I'm enjoying it so far and I promise to write more about it soon. But this is on my heart for this first week. My prayer all week has been for Jesus to change my heart to be like his.
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you. I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."
Ezekiel 36:26-27
"Before I had desired such a thing....He had already promised to reproduce His heart in me, shaping my desires to match His." JKD
More to come!
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you. I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."
Ezekiel 36:26-27
"Before I had desired such a thing....He had already promised to reproduce His heart in me, shaping my desires to match His." JKD
More to come!
Sep 8, 2010
Whirlwind of "Adventure"
My life continues to be a whirlwind of “adventure”...if that’s what you want to call it.
This year, 2010, has been just so ridiculously wild. Never did I dream that I would go through some of the things that have happened this year. Since my last post about the break-in so many things have happened! I just have a hard time fathoming that the last two weeks have been as wide open as they have been.
I guess the best thing to do would be a timeline of the events of the past two weeks.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010 – Theives break in to my apartment and steal our stuff. I cried all day. And Anna and I were afraid to sleep in our own bedrooms for a few nights.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010 – The thieves are arrested!!
Thursday, August 26, 2010 – Anna and I went down to the police station. Actually to the Knox County Sheriff’s Office Detective Squad and met with the detectives and got a few of our things back – gun, cameras, Anna’s CN Class ring....
Friday, August 27, 2010 – I called the insurance company to file our claim and had a complete and total melt down Friday afternoon. I sat at work and cried for about 4 hours. And I spent all day at work on Craig’s List looking for places to live
Saturday & Sunday, August 28 & 29, 2010 – I drove around for literally 8 hours each of these days looking at houses, apartments, condos, ANYTHING for rent. I had almost 6 pages of places that I was going to look. I narrowed down my list for Anna – who had to work over the weekend and she visited them on Monday.
Monday, August 30, 2010 – Anna and I settled on a new place to live. One that would be ours, not mine. When she moved in with me, it was supposed to be a temporary thing and then she would move out on her own. Well, after all this mess, we decided that we were getting along and it would work out for us to live together. My landlord was very gracious and let us out of the current lease at the old place!
Tuesday – Tuesday, August 31-September , 2010 – We moved into the new house. Anna and I moved as much as we could with our cars and then my parents came up to help over the weekend. And HUGE thanks go out to Anna’s friend that helped us Friday night. It was really a fantastic move. I don't know that it could have gone much more smoothly. Mom stayed until Monday and helped me unpack, unload, set up, and re-set up our new home. I like it and feel safe here.
It’s just been completely insane. I’ve been so busy since about the middle of July – I can hardly believe that it is September already. In the midst of all this madness, I have been blessed and reminded of God’s graciousness through my sweet friends – Ashley, Melissa, Joetta, Jessica and too many other to name.
This year, 2010, has been just so ridiculously wild. Never did I dream that I would go through some of the things that have happened this year. Since my last post about the break-in so many things have happened! I just have a hard time fathoming that the last two weeks have been as wide open as they have been.
I guess the best thing to do would be a timeline of the events of the past two weeks.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010 – Theives break in to my apartment and steal our stuff. I cried all day. And Anna and I were afraid to sleep in our own bedrooms for a few nights.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010 – The thieves are arrested!!
Thursday, August 26, 2010 – Anna and I went down to the police station. Actually to the Knox County Sheriff’s Office Detective Squad and met with the detectives and got a few of our things back – gun, cameras, Anna’s CN Class ring....
Friday, August 27, 2010 – I called the insurance company to file our claim and had a complete and total melt down Friday afternoon. I sat at work and cried for about 4 hours. And I spent all day at work on Craig’s List looking for places to live
Saturday & Sunday, August 28 & 29, 2010 – I drove around for literally 8 hours each of these days looking at houses, apartments, condos, ANYTHING for rent. I had almost 6 pages of places that I was going to look. I narrowed down my list for Anna – who had to work over the weekend and she visited them on Monday.
Monday, August 30, 2010 – Anna and I settled on a new place to live. One that would be ours, not mine. When she moved in with me, it was supposed to be a temporary thing and then she would move out on her own. Well, after all this mess, we decided that we were getting along and it would work out for us to live together. My landlord was very gracious and let us out of the current lease at the old place!
Tuesday – Tuesday, August 31-September , 2010 – We moved into the new house. Anna and I moved as much as we could with our cars and then my parents came up to help over the weekend. And HUGE thanks go out to Anna’s friend that helped us Friday night. It was really a fantastic move. I don't know that it could have gone much more smoothly. Mom stayed until Monday and helped me unpack, unload, set up, and re-set up our new home. I like it and feel safe here.
It’s just been completely insane. I’ve been so busy since about the middle of July – I can hardly believe that it is September already. In the midst of all this madness, I have been blessed and reminded of God’s graciousness through my sweet friends – Ashley, Melissa, Joetta, Jessica and too many other to name.
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