Oct 27, 2010

So...

I promised a second post and it is coming - I just haven't had time to process my thoughts completely yet...Hope to get that up and going this weekend!

Oct 18, 2010

I’ve been thinking about something recently. My feelings are going to be blatantly obvious after I finish writing this post but I’m pretty curious about your thoughts on this topic. I also will probably add to and review this 100 times before I actually post it because this is kind of a new subject for me and I want to be very clear about what I believe and what I feel. I also want to be clear about what Jesus says about this. I do not enter into this lightly. This will be a two part post with Part II being a Scripture based review of these thoughts - not just my personal thoughts. This is heavy – are you ready?

Part I: My feelings
I’m doing a Bible study with some girls that are new friends of mine. The study that we chose this fall is about prayer and the first two weeks of it kind of blew me out of the water. I really enjoyed them and doing the study every night was kind of a relaxing thing for me. After the first few weeks, the study got to be pretty difficult and challenging. Challenging because it makes me think about things in a different way and really challenge myself to be called to a higher life of prayer in Jesus – not one where I simply ask him for things – but a real life of prayer, every day. Last week the study was about relinquishing control of the things we want for ourselves and giving them over to God, who wants great things for us! More than we can possibly ask or imagine (See Ephesians 3:20)! The last thing that you were supposed to do every day was to write down a prayer for your life, a want, a desire, and then in red pen write over it - “Lord, I surrender to you”. I thought it was a great exercise in realizing that I didn’t have control anyway and that the good things that I want for my life are tiny in comparison to the great things that God has planned for me.

Anyway – we got to talking about stuff and some girls mentioned living a life of fear, rather than relinquishing control to God, because of what God might do to them as a punishment for the sin in their lives, to teach them a lesson – in a way.

I’ll give a little and say that the terrible things in this world are a direct result of sin as a whole, like starting with Adam and Eve and continuing through me. I'm not trying to say that there are not consequences to sin. And I’m not trying to say that I do not sin. But, should I dare think that when I lose my job 2 days after I bought my first home, when my niece dies or when my house is broken into and the things that I hold most dear are stolen, that it is a direct result of sin in my life? Should I dare to think that God is sitting back in heaven saying, well, “Marie...I told you to love me with all of your heart and I noticed that you’ve really been saving a piece of your heart for all the lovely things that you own so, I’m gonna take all your jewelry and see how much of your heart you can devote to that now!” Ok, that’s a little extreme and pretty cynical, I know, but can I really live a life of fear thinking “Oh great...what’s God gonna to do me for that one or for those 1,000 different things that I said or thought today?”

I believe that God lets stuff happen to us and that, as a result, we can grow closer to Him. I believe that He can use the crappy things in our lives to teach us about His love, to help us grow as Christians and people, to be able to love others in a better way. But does he really make bad things happen to us a result of sin in our lives? Can I believe that my friend with cancer has cancer BECAUSE he has sinned or because I have sinned, for that matter, which is kind of contradictory to one of my statements above. I can’t believe that my brother and sister in law lost their child because they have sinned or because Maeve had sinned. Yes, we are all born with a sinful nature. Yes, we are all sinners. Am I thinking about this in the wrong way? Is it some terrible form of discipline? I hate to use the word punishment because I can’t bear to think of it that way...What about my friend’s Mom who’s had breast cancer? Or my friend who can’t find a job after looking for 3 years? Or my friend that hates his job. Or what about my family member that struggles with depression? Or what about the unexpected death of my young neighbor? Are these things brought about as a punishment for a life of sin?

I thought Jesus paid the ransom.

Oct 4, 2010

Frustration & The Latest

So, I am FRUSTRATED because BLOGGER will not let me upload photos for some weird reason...

Any suggestions?
(I am beginning to think that this is a computer issue - not an internet issue)

I was going to upload some photos from the past few weeks. I haven't been home to Knoxville in about two weeks! I've been to Greer for Caldwell's Birthday party, to Greenville for a rockin' Harvest Moon Party, I've been to Waynesville for work, I've been to Boston for Vacation, and now I'm in Chattanooga for work! Whew - I'm exhausted even after writing this! I've got several good photos that I'll add to this post, as soon as I figure out how!