There has been so much going on and nothing at the same time.
My life and my heart feel full. In a good way. In the very best way.
I fall more in love with Jonathan every day. I didn't know that was possible but our Pastor during pre-marital counseling told us that it would just get better. And it has, even in 4 short months. It feels like forever ago but just the other day at the same time that, right at this time, we were leaving our wedding reception. We had spent the last few days with the very best of friends and loved ones and celebrated our union in so many ways.
We have been going to Christ Church Nashville - an interdenominational church located just a few miles down the road from us. It has been such a wonderful blessing in my life. I have come from a background of very formal, very non-emotional worship. This place is just really filled with the Spirit. It has changed the way that I experience worship. And the way that I experience learning about the Lord. And really, we picked this place because it's so close to us and one of my friends recommended it. So we went there just to try it out one Sunday and never left. Jonathan comes from a background of The Church of God - very super pentecostal - what you would picture when you heard the word Pentecostal. This church has pentecostal roots but split from the pentecostal church awhile back. It has been such a good place for me, for us. Especially when we're in the middle of such a life change - married, new to Nashville, etc....
This weekend, we took a class that was called "What Christ Church believes and teaches." It was taught by the head pastor and that's one of the main reasons that we took it. You can take it on Sunday mornings but it's not taught by the pastor. And we just really like him so when we heard about this weekend, we knew it was for us. We went over the church's statement of faith. And one of the things that I was most curious about was the phrase "being baptized in the holy spirit", which is a pentecostal phrase. I was under the impression that everyone received the holy spirit when they became Christians and this phrase "baptized in the spirit" really had me troubled.
Today, as we studied this phrase, I was moved to hear story after story after story from the pastor of seeing the Holy Spirit in action. The phrase "baptized in the spirit" is not a one time thing. Like - when you become a Christian - that happens once and the holy Spirit is apart of your life, but when you're Baptized In The Spirit - this can happen multiple times. A lot of pentecostals believe that this is evidenced by Speaking in Tongues. I have not ever seen that happen and I don't know that I've ever experienced the Holy Spirit in such a bold way. I have experienced the Holy Spirit in a personal way, certainly, on multiple occasions, but never in such a bold way as the stories that he told today. One was about speaking in tongues - a monk from Europe was in the home of a anglican priest and started speaking in tongues. The priest asked him if he was pentecostal and he said no - who are they? And the priest said well, you were speaking in tongues so I just assumed. The monk replied - The New Testament Church speaks in tongues! A couple other stories involved instances where people sought out the pastor because they had received a word from the Lord the needed to be delivered to him.
At the end of our time together today, I spoke up and said how much I enjoyed hearing those stories of people being baptized in the spirit and how encouraging they were and that I had never experienced anything like that. The pastor said, well, if you think back over your life and you think about all the times in your life, you'll see where the Holy Spirit has moved. Maybe you didn't know it at the time but you will in the future. He said he would pray for me that I would see the spirit in such a way. During our lesson, he talked about how we need to open ourselves up to receiving the Holy Spirit. And I thought "what have I been doing to inhibit the Holy Spirit showing up in my life". I don't know the answer to that yet but I am going to continue to search and pray that the Holy Spirit reveals himself to me in bold and unimaginable ways.
I know that God has been doing good things in my life my whole life. From 2008-2012 were the 4 hardest years of my life and changed me in way that I can hardly explain. But right before we got married and right after we got married, we were thinking back over our lives and realizing how God had prepared us for one another. For me, it was losing my job in Greenville, moving to Knoxville, losing my job there, working as a temp for 9 months and then getting on a full time position at the same place where Jonathan ended up because he was unable to find another job as well. Another job that he thought he wanted. We were both led to uncertainty and I know that all of the crap that I went through, even if the ONLY thing that ever comes out of it is me meeting Jonathan then I know it was worth hit. And I have seen God always take care of me - even though I didn't think that he was at the time. I've always been able to find another job and when I couldn't, I lived with my parents. And when I worked for a nightmare of a boss in Knoxville, I quit that job and moved to Nashville where I could live with my friend for free, work at Panera part time and wait for our wedding. God was taking care of me and I can see that now. I can see God's work in my life even though during the time, I thought that I had been abandoned by God. And I thought to myself "What have I done to deserve this".
And now, once again, I see God taking care of things. The condo that has been such a burden on my shoulders is finally selling! It took me a long time to finally give that totally to God and wait to see what he was going to do with it. So I painted it and lowered the price and it sold! The close date is July 12th, so please continue to pray that there won't be any issues with closing and final sale!
