Can We Trust God?

(I've started this post about 10 different times. I'm not entirely sure where to begin.....)

"When people gather for worship in a church on Sunday morning, the question on their minds is "Can I trust God?"  When people gather in a church on a Thursday afternoon, even more so the question on their minds is "Can I trust God?" - Rector Harrison McLeod

These are the words of the Rector at Christ Church in Greenville, South Carolina, as he opened the homily at the funeral of my niece Maeve Stirling, on Thursday afternoon May 13, 2010. Maeve was born early Sunday morning, May 9. She was beautiful and perfect. But she couldn't breathe.  She never breathed on her own.  The doctors did everything that they knew to do.  They just couldn't get her little lungs to work.

My heart is completely broken.  My heart aches for the life of a child that I will never know.  She was loved so much even before she was born.  It has been such a difficult week.  It has been so hard to cry with my brother, Gabe, and my sister-in-law, Ashley.  It has been so difficult to see my family hurting.  My brother, Ben, and his wife, Beth, have had a difficult time too.  My parents are hurting.  My entire family is hurting. Ashley's entire family is hurting.  Her parents and both sisters have been in town the whole week.

Through the haze of this week, I have seen and been surrounded by people who love my family.  It has been an amazing time to to see the love of Christ shared through people who love us.  We've gotten emails, phone calls, cards, flowers, hugs, letters, tears and love. Although I haven't been with my friends this week, I know that they've been hurting with me. I have learned so much about friendship this week.

This week my friends have:

• Dropped everything at 10:30 on a Sunday morning to come to my house.
• Cried on the phone with me.
• Prayed for me and my family.
• Had spouses and family that prayed for me and my family.
• Considered me family.
• Considered their home my home.
• Made difficult phone calls on my behalf.
• Brought food.
• Encouraged me.
• Loved me.

In his homily, Rector McLeod went on to give example after example after example from scripture of God's faithfulness.  And even though we may never understand our life without Maeve, it is so important to be faithful in knowing that God is faithful.  That He is in control. That He is Sovereign. 

Now it's time to begin the healing process.