As of Tomorrow I'm....

Gonna put the the world away for a minute
Pretend I don’t live in it
Sunshine gonna wash my blues away

Had sweet love but I lost it
She got too close so I fought her
Now I’m lost in the world trying to find me a better way

Wishing I was knee deep in the water somewhere
Got the blue sky breeze and it don’t seem fair
Only worry in the world is the tide gonna reach my chair
Sunrise there’s a fire in the sky
Never been so happy
Never felt so high
And I think I might have found me my own kind of paradise

Wrote a note said be back in a minute
Bought a boat and I sailed off in it
Don’t think anybody gonna miss me anyway

Mind on a permanent vacation
The ocean is my only medication
Wishing my condition ain’t ever gonna go away

Cause now I’m knee deep in the water somewhere
Got the blue sky breeze blowing wind through my hair
Only worry in the world is the tide gonna reach my chair
Sunrise there’s a fire in the sky

Never been so happy
Never felt so high
And I think I might have found me my own kind of paradise

This champagne shore washing over me
It’s a sweet sweet life living by the salty sea
One day you could be as lost as me
Change you’re geography
Maybe you might be

Knee deep in the water somewhere
Got the blue sky breeze blowing wind through my hair
Only worry in the world is the tide gonna reach my chair
Sunrise there’s a fire in the sky
Never been so happy
Never felt so high
And I think I might have found me my own kind of paradise

Come on in the water it’s nice
Find yourself a little slice
Grab a backpack of lies
You never know until you try
When you lose yourself
You find the key to paradise

If you haven't heard this song, check it out - it's hard to go wrong with Zac Brown and Jimmy Buffett!

Reflections From This Past Week

This past week has FLOWN by. I have been incredibly busy at work, which is a good thing in a way. I've also had some heavy things on my mind this week. I often hesitate to post such heavy things on here but decided this week that I needed to at least write these things for myself. Maybe I'll post a different version of my first draft. We'll see.

The main thing I've been thinking about has been spurred by the study that I'm doing with my Bible Study girls. It's Beth Moore's Praying God's Word. I think I may have mentioned that this is the study that we're doing now. It's been good but each week is pretty heavy. And each week we come back to the same theory: anything in our lives can be an "idol" and we should turn to Jesus rather than these "idols" in our lives. The chapters are not all applicable to me. There has been a chapter about addiction, eating disorders, etc. Others, like this week, have seemed so much more applicable to my life and have been a very real comfort. I see myself turning again and again to this book in the future as a source of comfort or encouragement as I deal with difficult circumstances or help friends through difficult circumstances.

This week's chapter was called Overcoming Despair Resulting from Loss. What a heavy concept! I am pretty much exhausted after this week and my heart is heavy and hurting. I feel like I have suffered from loss over the past few years: jobs, community, people I love....I wish that I could type out all of the verses in this chapter here but these were my favorites from this week:

Because of Your great love, I am not consumed; for your compassions never fail. Lamentations 3:22 

You made me and You will carry me; You will sustain me and You will rescue me. 

Isaiah 46:4 

But You were pierced for my transgressions, crushed for my sins, the punishment that brought me peace was upon You, and by You wounds I am healed. Isaiah 53:5 

For You know the plans you have for me Lord. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 

You have power to do what You promise. Romans 4:22 

O the depth of the riches of Your wisdom and knowledge, O God! How unsearchable Your judgements, and your paths beyond tracing out? Who has known the mind of you Lord? Or who has been Your counselor? Romans 11:33 

Lord, in my heart I plan my course, but you determine my steps. Proverbs 16:9 

Your love, O Lord, endures forever. Psalm 138:7 

May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to Your promise to Your servant.  Psalm 119:76 

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. Psalm 116:7 

I cry out to You, God Most High, to You who fulfills your purpose for me. Psalm 57:2 

I will be still and know You are God. Psalm 46:10 

I fix my eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 

You say to me Lord, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Corinthians 12:9 

Help me Lord not to be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present my requests to You. And Your peace, O God, which transcends all understanding will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 

All things work together for the good of those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. Romans 8:28 

No eye has seen. No hear has heard. No mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. 2 Corinthians 2:9 

Fear not for I have redeemed you! I have called you by name, you are mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. When you pass through the Rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. Isaiah 43:1-2 

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 

You, the God of all grace, who called me to Your eternal glory in Christ, after I have suffered a little while, will Yourself restore me and make me strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10 

I consider that our present sufferings cannot be prepared to the glory that You will reveal in me. Romans 8:18 

I do not know what I ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for me with groans that words cannot express. Your Spirit intercedes for me in accordance with Your will. Romans 8:26-27 

Now it is You, God, who made me for this very purpose and have given me the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. Therefore, we are always confident.  

2 Corinthians 5:5-6 

And I will leave you with this last verse: 

Peace. I leave with you my peace. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Easter Cake

Y'all - I made the most delicious cake for Easter....I found the recipe here. I will always use this recipe with a box cake mix! It made the cake so moist and fabulous. It was fun to make, and it was so good! I'll definitely be using this recipe again. The only thing different that I did was use 3 layers instead of 4 and I did not trim the cake into the shape of an egg...who wants to waste all that good cake!

My Nieces and Nephew

My dad sent me some new pics of Caldwell, Dot, and Hamilton tonight so I thought I'd share a few of them!

Dot - 4 1/2 months, Caldwell 3 1/2, Hamilton 2 1/2

Sweet Baby

Princess Dot

Happy Easter?

Happy baby!

Caldwell plays at Kids Planet

Caldwell at my parents house

The Queen and her subjects

Cousins

Hamilton

Hamilton loves Sam!

A Year Ago Today (Installment 4)

It was Sunday. Mother's Day. May 9, 2010.

I really can't even begin to express in any eloquent way, the way that my heart feels about that day and the days following. I have started and written another post but it wasn't publish-able. I think that I probably said it best then. It's really hard to think about it now. It's hard to express how I feel about and think about that day and those days following.  In what was by far the worst week of my life, I and my family felt the kindness and love of so many people. While my heart continues to hurt for the life of that sweet child that I will never know, I know that He has a plan. In the middle of the horribleness of last year, it was hard to see anything good coming from such a tragedy. I still feel crazy to think that anything good could come out of it...and I will probably never see the good, I know that He has a purpose and a plan and wants good for our lives. I will always think about Maeve this time of year. I can't believe it's been a year.

But this is a new year, Thank God.
Gabe and Ashley are pregnant again.
And we are excited to celebrate the life of a new child in our family!

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to my awesome Mom!

Mom, I am so thankful for you.

For all the hours of prayer that I've seen you pray

(and the ones that I haven't)

For all the time we've spent on the phone in the past 9 years 

Since I left for college.

You are continually there for me.

You are the one that I turn to when I dont know what else to do.

I appreciate more than you know: 

The thousands of dollars you have spent on postage;

The thousands of hours you've spent guiding me and shaping me into the woman I am growing up to be;

The woman that you are;

The mother that you are;

The friend that you've become.

I Love You!

Pennsylvania

This past weekend, I went to visit my good friend from Grad school, Joseph.  

He's living in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. He met me at the Philadelphia airport on Friday morning and we toured the city! We toured Independence Hall - where the Declaration of Independence was signed. Unfortunately there was scaffolding over the top of Independence Hall. It really is a beautiful building and it was humbling to be in the same room where Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin argued over the rules and laws of our newfound country. 

We visited The Liberty Bell where Joseph refused to take a picture with me.

We visited Redding Terminal Market and Philadelphia City hall.

We learned about Mother's Day....

We visited the Philadelphia Museum of Art. These are the steps that Rocky ran up in the movie....

A view of the city from the Museum.

We strolled through China Town.

We sat on this bench...how random is that?! Pretty great!

We had cheesesteaks.

We also toured all around Amish Country and Lancaster, which is where Joseph really lives. Unfortunately, I dont have many pictures from this part of my trip.

We did go to The Fulton Theater & Opera House to see a play Saturday night.
(I did not take this picture)

We had a great time eating and hanging out and visiting town. It was good to be with Joe and get out of town for a little while. I'm so glad I was able to do this. Special thanks to Joseph and The Reilly's for making the trip worthwhile.