The Big Picture

So this is going to be a combination of about three different posts that I've started at different times and now feel like I can finish.  A recent conversation with my good friend Nellie, got me to thinking about The Big Picture. I guess what I mean by The Big Picture is our purpose in this life. I've been feeling the need to write something profound (well, more profound than normal) lately.  Something that makes people think.

I've been surprised at how much I've enjoyed this blog.  Not just for the hope of people reading it but because it's been a good place for me to record my thoughts.  It's also been a good opportunity for me to keep my complaining to a minimum.  When I started writing the blog, my intent was to avoid negative talking.  I have used this blog to vent once in awhile but I try to keep it to a minimum. I've made a pretty decent effort at changing my thought process over the last year and a half. If you took my mental and emotional state of life about a year ago and compared it to today, it would be like looking at two different people.

Now that I've said that...at this point in my life, I have never felt so apathetic.  I just do not care.  This is a result of a lot of different things, which I won't discuss them here but mostly involving friends, so-called friends and work.  I am enjoying my job and I really do like it but the past week has been SO slow.  It makes the day go by extremely slow and gives me too much time to think and ask all of those "what if" questions of life.  Even though in the past week I've written about how happy I am and how great my life is going (this is totally true); this past week/weekend has been pretty hard emotionally. I'm ready for a vacation and hope to go to the beach with my Mom in May!!

I also continually reflect over the events of the past few years. In some ways my life has been pretty lame, pretty uneventful but in other ways it has been ridiculously insane.  I feel like this age is supposed to be the greatest time in my life.  Nobody told me that it would be hard.  These are some things I've learned since graduating from college (borrowed from SCL).

• God is good and he works in ways that we will never understand
• He has chosen to use me and the people around me to be a part of what He is doing in the world
• His timing and resources are limitless
• His vision for His work exceeds anything that I originally dreamed 

I find great peace, joy and trust in those things.