Twenty Six

Yesterday, I turned 26!

I loved being 25.  I loved everything about it.  Life during the last year was pretty fantastic.  I had an interview a year ago today actually for the job I have now, got the job, moved to Knoxville and have enjoyed my life here during the last year.  I didn't think that turning into the second half of this decade (my late 20's) would bother me but, I'm not gonna lie, I'm feeling a little old today.  Feeling a little more pressure to take the next step (whatever that may be - I have absolutely NO clue; thankfully Somebody does know...)

So I guess I'm moving on with life today.  It's just another day.  Back to work.  Nothing special.  I do have some exciting things planned for later this year:

• I'm going to the beach in July for the big Tourtellotte Roll Family Reunion.  It's my grandmother's family and we do it every other year and I look forward to seeing everyone and catching up and being at the beach.  It's really a lot of people - my grandmother was one of 6 and it's all of them, their children and now grandchildren and even some great grandchildren!  It really is fun.

• I'm going to Canada in August for my cousin Louis's wedding to Steph.  She's Canadian and they're having the wedding in the town where her parents lake house is.  The reception is at the lake house and it's going to be so much fun.  Not much of my other family members are going - just Louis's brother and parents and our grandmother.  I'm looking forward to getting out of the country! It's been 5 years and I had to get a new passport to do this! It's going to be so much fun!

• I'm going to Boston in September/October with Nellie.  She's a good friend from Greenville and has a traveling spirit and I'm looking forward to taking a vacation with her.  We've both been to Boston before but not as adults and not for an extended couple of days.  It'll be good to catch up with her and get out of town! I'm really looking forward to it!

So - I've got some good things coming up in this 26th year of my life :)

Synchronous Fireflies

The Synchronous Fireflies of The Great Smoky Mountains were amazing.  There's apparently this one specific species of firefly that does this and it can only be seen in TWO locations world wide - China and Gatlinburg.  The lights on the fireflies are more of a white or blue than the normal yellow ones that we seen in our back yards.  And true to the article that I linked to - they started about 9:30 PM.  

We left Knoxville about 3 PM and drove up to get a parking space at the visitors center.  We went on a little hike and I'm not sure I've ever been that sweaty.  It was just so humid.  It wasn't really hot but the humidity was horrible.  It was a nice, light hike.  We came back, ate a picnic dinner and then got in line for an hour and a half to ride the trolley up to Elkmont.  We found a seat in a less crowded area and sat down to watch.  It was really awesome and there were literally thousands of fireflies lighting up the night!  They were beautiful.  And it was incredible to watch them do their thing.  There were so many people up there and I really do think that it might be better to go on a week night - if you can get off work early enough to get up there and you don't mind a late night...Didn't get back to my house until after 1 AM.  I would definitely recommend it.

Mom

Today, I'd like to take some time to be THANKFUL for my Mom!

Today is her 60th Birthday! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!

You are a wonderful friend and a fabulous listener.  I realize that you have put up with a lot from me and you'll never know how grateful I am to have a Mom (and Papa) as wonderful and gracious and loving and kind as you.

I am thankful for: 

the mother you are, 

the friend you've become, 

the friend that I see you be to others, 

the prayer warrior that you are, 

the wife that you are, 

the daughter that you are,

the sister that you are, 

the grandmother that you are

the wonderful woman that you are.

Happy Birthday!

Hope your 60th Birthday is everything you want it to be! I cannot wait to celebrate with you in a few weeks!

June

Well, It's June.  I can't believe it.  I've been in Knoxville almost a year now.  I'm terrified to say this but for the first time in my adult life, I am comfortable.  Life is good.  Things are good.

I'm still hurting in ways that I cannot translate into words after the loss of Maeve.  It's hard to believe it's been a month today. I cannot imagine the way that Gabe and Ashley must be feeling.  It's been hard to be here and away from my family.  It's been hard to not know what to do for Gabe and Ashley.  It's been hard to know how to pray for them. It's been hard to have the faith to know that God is Sovereign and in control.  I wrote in a recently post, the post about Maeve, with an assertive tone, that I knew these things to be true.  And I do - in my head....my heart's another story.

Just today - I felt like Jesus was saying:

"Marie, Give me your whole heart. You can trust me...."

In the Midst...

In the midst of the heartache in my life the past few weeks, this week, I have gotten some good news.

1.  I have more vacation days than I thought!!
2.  I'm getting a raise starting in July! Woo-hoo!!
3.  I'm going to be an aunt again!  Ben and Beth are pregnant with their 2nd babe :)
4.  I'm going to have a roommate.  I'm a little nervous about this because I've been living by myself for 4 years now but I'm excited about the extra money!


That's really all for now but I'm so glad to have some good news for once!

Can We Trust God?

(I've started this post about 10 different times. I'm not entirely sure where to begin.....)

"When people gather for worship in a church on Sunday morning, the question on their minds is "Can I trust God?"  When people gather in a church on a Thursday afternoon, even more so the question on their minds is "Can I trust God?" - Rector Harrison McLeod

These are the words of the Rector at Christ Church in Greenville, South Carolina, as he opened the homily at the funeral of my niece Maeve Stirling, on Thursday afternoon May 13, 2010. Maeve was born early Sunday morning, May 9. She was beautiful and perfect. But she couldn't breathe.  She never breathed on her own.  The doctors did everything that they knew to do.  They just couldn't get her little lungs to work.

My heart is completely broken.  My heart aches for the life of a child that I will never know.  She was loved so much even before she was born.  It has been such a difficult week.  It has been so hard to cry with my brother, Gabe, and my sister-in-law, Ashley.  It has been so difficult to see my family hurting.  My brother, Ben, and his wife, Beth, have had a difficult time too.  My parents are hurting.  My entire family is hurting. Ashley's entire family is hurting.  Her parents and both sisters have been in town the whole week.

Through the haze of this week, I have seen and been surrounded by people who love my family.  It has been an amazing time to to see the love of Christ shared through people who love us.  We've gotten emails, phone calls, cards, flowers, hugs, letters, tears and love. Although I haven't been with my friends this week, I know that they've been hurting with me. I have learned so much about friendship this week.

This week my friends have:

• Dropped everything at 10:30 on a Sunday morning to come to my house.
• Cried on the phone with me.
• Prayed for me and my family.
• Had spouses and family that prayed for me and my family.
• Considered me family.
• Considered their home my home.
• Made difficult phone calls on my behalf.
• Brought food.
• Encouraged me.
• Loved me.

In his homily, Rector McLeod went on to give example after example after example from scripture of God's faithfulness.  And even though we may never understand our life without Maeve, it is so important to be faithful in knowing that God is faithful.  That He is in control. That He is Sovereign. 

Now it's time to begin the healing process.

Knoxville's Downtown Market

The Market Square Farmers Market is in Downtown Knoxville every Wednesday afternoon and Saturday morning.  The one on Saturday is pretty big.  About like Greenville's :)  I went today for the second time. I loved it.  It is a BEAUTIFUL day here in Knoxville.  About 70 degrees, breezy, sunny...Life couldn't get any better!

The find of the day is gourmet chicken salad.  They have about 10 different flavors and I think that when I go every week, I'll be trying a new one!  This week's flavor is Spinach Roasted Red Pepper and Goat Cheese!