2010: A Year In Review

Hmm....Where do I even begin? 

I hate to be so negative but this has been what I would call The Worst Year Of My Life. It just seems that I can't get away from bad news. My good friend Jess and I even agreed not to call each other earlier this year unless we had GOOD news. Of course, we couldn't keep up that bargain because of car wrecks, death of friends and family, break-ins, more car wrecks and insanely crazy stories about both of our lives; but we have stayed in touch. I will not go back through all of this years events, but if you've been reading the blog, then you may know what's been going on.

Even in the midst of this terrible year, I have so many things to be THANKFUL for and while it's hard for me to remember these things sometimes, I want to call attention to these specific people below.  Please, please, know that the people below hold a special place in my heart and just because your name is not on this list, doesn't mean that I'm not thankful for you!

1. My parents. I have never known support and love like they provide on a DAILY basis, even and especially when things are tough. I love you for that and am so grateful to have parents who love unconditionally.

2. My familly.  Outside of my parents, I've felt the love and support of my huge family throughout this year.  While we may not talk every day or see each other that often, I know we've got each others backs! I love you!

3. My friends.  You guys have been amazing.  I have so many wonderful friends who live all over the country: Atlanta & Thomasville, Georgia; Lancaster, Pennsylvania; Greenville & Charleston, South Carolina; Asheville & Winston-Salem, North Carolina; Pretty much the whole state of Tennessee and elsewhere.  It really is amazing all the wonderful things that my friends are doing with their lives. I am honored to call you friend. I want to name a few of you particularly because I dont know how I would have made it through this year without these friends. To all of you: I Love You! And the ones that live away - I MISS YOU!! I'm coming to visit. (As I look back through this, it seems that most of the good times through this year have revolved around food!:))

• Diana - Thanks for your encouragement, laughs, letting me talk it out, taking me to lunch, and just plain being there. I'm so glad we met on that trip over 5 (or is it 6 now??) years ago!
• Melissa - Thanks for being there to listen, encourage and hang out and pray.  I dont know what I'd do without you!
• Praying friends - Nellie, Ashley, Joetta, Jess, The Malones, Holly - I have truly felt the presence of Jesus this year and it's because of you. Even though we can't see each other all the time, I know that you're praying and encouraging and that makes all the difference in the world. Truly this list of praying friends could go on and on and on. I am so thankful to have praying people in my life.
• Latisha & Carly - I wouldn't have eaten nearly as many good dinners if it weren't for your lovely cooking skills.  I also haven't laughed as much as I have this year and enjoyed so many fun nights in Knoxville.  Thank you for your kindness and hospitality.
• Nick - Thanks for your encouragement, kind words, letting me talk it out and just plain being there. Thanks for fun Knoxville and Nashville weekends! Thanks for cooking dinner with me so many times. Thanks for being a best friend.
• Joseph - Thanks for making me laugh again and again.  It's always good for my soul to talk to you.
• Whitney & Matt - I literally don't know what I'd do without you! This year you supported me in ways unimaginable and I am forever in your debt.  You have both been so kind and generous and loving in ways undeserved and I am astounded by your gracious spirits.

I was looking through my blog posts from this year and doing some thinking. This blog has turned into more of an online journal and that is NOT what I wanted it to be originally, but I feel that as this year and really the last two years have unfurled, it is important for me to write my thoughts (it is personally mentally healthy) and share my life with friends and family that I may not speak to often. As this year draws to an end and I reflect over the events of 2010, I am reminded again and again and again, of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I want so much to be angry but that's not really my nature. I want so badly to mourn and hurt and feel sorry for myself. I do a pretty good job of all those things but I can't get away from Him (deep down I'm truly, truly thankful that He pursues me, I've been running far too long). I have faith and hope that 2011 will be better and that I will continue to follow God's will for my life.

Here's to a FANTASTIC 2011: Cheers!!

P.S. A post for 2011 goals and "resolutions" is in the works!



Charlie Brown & What Christmas Is Really About

Charlie Brown was on TV last night.  It's a good reminder to me of what Christmas really is "all about".  Thanks to Linas as he tells Charlie and the other what Christmas really is all about. I've been so caught up in Christmas presents plans

The Birth of Jesus

Luke 2:1-14

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world.  And everyone went to their own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

Stressed & Anxious

Those two words pretty much sum up the way that I feel right now and have been feeling the past few weeks.  That's right blogging world, I find myself in need of a j-o-b. Again. For the second time in two years. 

I'm trying to rest in the Word of the Lord:

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High, will rest in the shadow of the Almighty - Psalm 91:1

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. - Ephesians 3:14-21

This week in the study that that I'm doing, it's talking about calling on the power of Jesus' name.  I've been calling on the power of Jesus' name, The Name of the One who saved me, to give me peace and comfort and encouragement and security as only He can. I know that He will take care of me and that He wants good things for my life. While I may have a hard time seeing that as the worst year of my life draws to a close, I have faith and hope that He is working out His will in my life.

Security Measures

Security Measures

By Rick Ezell

"The one who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells in the shadow of the Almighty" (Psalm 91:1).

Have you noticed: The more emphasis we place on security, the less secure we feel? Not only do we feel insecure on a national scope with terrorism and crime, but we also feel insecure on a personal level. Falling stock market. The threat of job loss. The assault on personal safety.

The Psalmist invites you to snuggle up close, to feel the warmth of the one he is writing about, and to share in the protection he offers, to cuddle in his truths, and to rest secure in the peace he offers.
I read that, during a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico, a news report highlighted a rescue device used on the oil rigs. In case of fire or (in this case) hurricane, rig workers scramble into the bullet shaped "bus" and strapped themselves into their seats. When the entry port is shut, the vehicle is released down a chute and projected away from the rig. The seat belts protect the occupants from the impact with the water. The capsule then bobs in the sea until the rescuers come to pick it up.
That's an image of what God does for us. He is the one who protects us. The term dwells in Psalm 91:1 implies that we live in conscious fellowship with and draw daily strength from God. He is your defense shield, your alarm system, your protective coating. He is everything you need to feel secure in an insecure world.
This verse reminds me of a security blanket. Not a thing, mind you, but a person. Just as many children will not let their security blanket out of their sight, always in their grasp, so are believers to be constantly in touch with their security source. Live, therefore, constantly and continually in his presence.
Every person craves security. Real security is not found in things-job, stock market, position at work, fat bank account, alarm systems, but in the person of Jesus Christ.
Copyright 2010, Rick Ezell.

Merry Christmas!

Anna and I put up a fake Christmas tree this year. This is the first fake one I've ever had and I was a little disappointed at first but it really turned out to be beautiful!

Photo Catch-Up-Post

Wel,l since I aparently "fixed" my photo upload problem, I thought I'd upload some photos from this past fall.  (By fixed I mean that I had been composing my blog posts under the "Edit HTML" tab rather than the "Compose" tab and didn't have any of the links to help me actually compose my posts! I'm brilliant! )

Ok, this might get a little ridiculous!

JULY: Family Reunion - I have a huge wonderful beautiful family and we meet every other year at Litchfield Beach in SC to hang out for a week....sound like a little much? You would think so, but not with these folks! We come from: LA, San Diego, Texas, Washington DC, St. Louis, Florida, New Mexico, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and this year: Afghanistan.  Shout out to my Cousin Liz who definitely got the award for traveling the farthest to be there!

AUGUST: Lou and Steph get married in Canada! What a blast and so much fun to be apart of their day! I may have posted a few of these pictures but wanted to add some more of my favorites!



Me with the Bride





The Parents of the Groom





Bride and Groom - Rehersal Dinner



My Beautiful Momise





The Fam just after the Wedding Ceremony



SEPTEMBER: Caldwell's Third Birthday Party!!  She's growing up so fast!



These were the party favors - Hilarious!




My family (some of them) and Beth's family!

 OCTOBER: Boston with my good friend Nellie! We had such a great trip and pretty much saw the entire city in 3 1/2 days!



Boston Skyline

 

FENWAY PARK for a Red Sox Game!


Also in October: Joetta and Justin came down for a little Surprise Birthday party for Melissa! It was so good to be with all of them!


I love this ladies!



NOVEMBER: Mumford and Sons Concert - Also with Nellie! It was so good, they were fantastic live and had special guest Jerry Douglas come play the dobro with them! Even their opening bands were good!



Me with Nellie




Mumford




Mumford with opening bands and Jerry Douglas doing the encore!


Whew! I've been busy this fall! It's been a lot of good things amidst a lot of crappy things.  My heart is hurting and exhausted as I try to figure out what God is up to and what good things he has for me and wait through the not so good things.  Things that I know shape me and help me grow, I just wish there was an easier way sometimes.  For now though, I'm looking forward to the Holidays and enjoying being with my friends and family!





Cookies!

Recently, I haven't felt much like blogging.  More on that eventually...

But for now I'm baking cookies :)  The BEST COOKIES I've had in a while...

Mint Chocolate Crinkle Cookies

A few weeks ago I had one of these at Panera with my good friend Melissa.  Delicious! So I figured I could make them and they're just as good if not better, especially warm! Yummy!  I found this recipe on The Pioneer Woman's website - featured in her Cookie Week article. 

I found her webiste a few months ago when some friends told me about her love story.  It is a fabulous story and from what I hear they're about to publish it.  But in the meantime, she has a lot of great recipes and other stuff on her webiste and I like to take a peak at it every once in awhile.  Mel made this AMAZING Strawberry Shortcake last week that was out of this world!

Fondue Party

So, this weekend I took a little trip back to 1973.

My friend Whitney had a fondue party at her house. It was so much fun! There were about 8 of us and we ate for about 5 hours! If you've never done the fondue thing before, I highly recommend it!

1st Course: One couple brought the cheese and the fixings for the first course. We had really good bread, carrots, apples to dip in the cheese. The cheese recipe was some kind of cheese that I hadn't heard of, beer, onions, and garlic. It was AMAZING.

2nd Course: There were four of us who brought the fixing for the second course. We had squash, cauliflower, mushrooms, chicken, pork tenderloin, beef tips, and shrimp. All marinaded in something yummy and each had dipping sauces with it. It was all just so good. We cooked each of these meats in a coq au vin broth with garlic, vegtable broth, and red wine. It was SO good!

3rd Course: Dessert! Matt and Whitney did the dessert course. They had chocolate dip and then bananas, strawberries, marshmallows, marshmallows rolled in oreo, marshmallows rolled in graham cracker, regular marshmallows, rice crispy treats, and brownies. It was divine!

We all arrived around 6 and got started with the first course. Then the UT game started at 730 so we flipped it on, watched the first half, had the second course, watched the rest of the game, played a little Apples to Apples and then had dessert. It was good to have so much time in between courses because really, we ate so much food! It was wonderful and so good to be together with good friends and laugh and have fun!

Your Great Name

Lost are saved, find their way
At the sound of Your great name
All condemned feel no shame
At the sound of Your great name
Every fear has no place
At the sound of Your great name
The enemy, he has to leave
At the sound of Your great name

Jesus, worthy is the Lamb
that was slain for us
Son of God and man

You are high and lifted up
And all the world will praise
Your great name

All the weak find their strength
At the sound of Your great name
Hungry souls receive grace
At the sound of Your great name
The fatherless find their place
At the sound of Your great name
The sick are healed, the dead are raised
At the sound of Your great name

Redeemer,My Healer, Lord Almighty
Sustainer,Defender, You are my king

Post II: Back up from Scripture

Ok, so, more thoughts from last week's post.

(A lot of these thoughts are taken straight out of my Bible study book - Live a Praying Life by Jennifer Kennedy Dean)

- The bad things in this life are just things that happen. Yes, they're terrible and often unfair in more than one way, but they are involved with the will of God.
- God is always working out His will in our lives - it's just usually not in the ways we would imagine. How God does his will is up to Him. I cannot control or tell Him how to accomplish His plan. He will do His will in His way.
- Waiting - while I wait for the next step in my life, there are so many things that I want for myself and have prayed for. Usually, I have a plan of what I want to happen and how I want it to happen. And the "bad things" are not ever in my plan and I think that's part of where my frustration stems from.

Through the study from the last week, I have discovered several encouraging verses that I believe back up my thoughts on God's Will and refresh my faith that God does know what he's doing.

1. Genesis 37 - Exodus 1: The Story of Joseph - God told him that he would bring about great things in his life. Joseph did not know that he would be thrown in a hole, sold by his brothers who hated him, be the servant of the king, be wrongly accused of a crime, and go to jail all before "good" things started happening. After this he became a great rule and spared the country from famine. But I'm sure that he didn't see his life of greatness for the bottom of a pit where his brothers argued over how much they were going to sell him for.

2. Romans 11:33-34: O the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out.

3. Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.

These verses remind me that while I may have absolutely no understanding of what God is up to, that He still knows. That He is still in control and that I just need to remind myself, mostly daily, of the plans that He has for me - to give me HOPE and a FUTURE.

So...

I promised a second post and it is coming - I just haven't had time to process my thoughts completely yet...Hope to get that up and going this weekend!

I’ve been thinking about something recently. My feelings are going to be blatantly obvious after I finish writing this post but I’m pretty curious about your thoughts on this topic. I also will probably add to and review this 100 times before I actually post it because this is kind of a new subject for me and I want to be very clear about what I believe and what I feel. I also want to be clear about what Jesus says about this. I do not enter into this lightly. This will be a two part post with Part II being a Scripture based review of these thoughts - not just my personal thoughts. This is heavy – are you ready?

Part I: My feelings
I’m doing a Bible study with some girls that are new friends of mine. The study that we chose this fall is about prayer and the first two weeks of it kind of blew me out of the water. I really enjoyed them and doing the study every night was kind of a relaxing thing for me. After the first few weeks, the study got to be pretty difficult and challenging. Challenging because it makes me think about things in a different way and really challenge myself to be called to a higher life of prayer in Jesus – not one where I simply ask him for things – but a real life of prayer, every day. Last week the study was about relinquishing control of the things we want for ourselves and giving them over to God, who wants great things for us! More than we can possibly ask or imagine (See Ephesians 3:20)! The last thing that you were supposed to do every day was to write down a prayer for your life, a want, a desire, and then in red pen write over it - “Lord, I surrender to you”. I thought it was a great exercise in realizing that I didn’t have control anyway and that the good things that I want for my life are tiny in comparison to the great things that God has planned for me.

Anyway – we got to talking about stuff and some girls mentioned living a life of fear, rather than relinquishing control to God, because of what God might do to them as a punishment for the sin in their lives, to teach them a lesson – in a way.

I’ll give a little and say that the terrible things in this world are a direct result of sin as a whole, like starting with Adam and Eve and continuing through me. I'm not trying to say that there are not consequences to sin. And I’m not trying to say that I do not sin. But, should I dare think that when I lose my job 2 days after I bought my first home, when my niece dies or when my house is broken into and the things that I hold most dear are stolen, that it is a direct result of sin in my life? Should I dare to think that God is sitting back in heaven saying, well, “Marie...I told you to love me with all of your heart and I noticed that you’ve really been saving a piece of your heart for all the lovely things that you own so, I’m gonna take all your jewelry and see how much of your heart you can devote to that now!” Ok, that’s a little extreme and pretty cynical, I know, but can I really live a life of fear thinking “Oh great...what’s God gonna to do me for that one or for those 1,000 different things that I said or thought today?”

I believe that God lets stuff happen to us and that, as a result, we can grow closer to Him. I believe that He can use the crappy things in our lives to teach us about His love, to help us grow as Christians and people, to be able to love others in a better way. But does he really make bad things happen to us a result of sin in our lives? Can I believe that my friend with cancer has cancer BECAUSE he has sinned or because I have sinned, for that matter, which is kind of contradictory to one of my statements above. I can’t believe that my brother and sister in law lost their child because they have sinned or because Maeve had sinned. Yes, we are all born with a sinful nature. Yes, we are all sinners. Am I thinking about this in the wrong way? Is it some terrible form of discipline? I hate to use the word punishment because I can’t bear to think of it that way...What about my friend’s Mom who’s had breast cancer? Or my friend who can’t find a job after looking for 3 years? Or my friend that hates his job. Or what about my family member that struggles with depression? Or what about the unexpected death of my young neighbor? Are these things brought about as a punishment for a life of sin?

I thought Jesus paid the ransom.

Frustration & The Latest

So, I am FRUSTRATED because BLOGGER will not let me upload photos for some weird reason...

Any suggestions?
(I am beginning to think that this is a computer issue - not an internet issue)

I was going to upload some photos from the past few weeks. I haven't been home to Knoxville in about two weeks! I've been to Greer for Caldwell's Birthday party, to Greenville for a rockin' Harvest Moon Party, I've been to Waynesville for work, I've been to Boston for Vacation, and now I'm in Chattanooga for work! Whew - I'm exhausted even after writing this! I've got several good photos that I'll add to this post, as soon as I figure out how!

One Day....

You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now

But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger

But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet

One day you will
Oh one day you will

A New Heart...

I'm in a Bible Study and we just started a new book called Live a Praying Life by Jennifer Kennedy Dean. I'm enjoying it so far and I promise to write more about it soon. But this is on my heart for this first week. My prayer all week has been for Jesus to change my heart to be like his.

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you. I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."
Ezekiel 36:26-27

"Before I had desired such a thing....He had already promised to reproduce His heart in me, shaping my desires to match His." JKD

More to come!

Whirlwind of "Adventure"

My life continues to be a whirlwind of “adventure”...if that’s what you want to call it.

This year, 2010, has been just so ridiculously wild. Never did I dream that I would go through some of the things that have happened this year. Since my last post about the break-in so many things have happened! I just have a hard time fathoming that the last two weeks have been as wide open as they have been.

I guess the best thing to do would be a timeline of the events of the past two weeks.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010 – Theives break in to my apartment and steal our stuff. I cried all day. And Anna and I were afraid to sleep in our own bedrooms for a few nights.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010 – The thieves are arrested!!

Thursday, August 26, 2010 – Anna and I went down to the police station. Actually to the Knox County Sheriff’s Office Detective Squad and met with the detectives and got a few of our things back – gun, cameras, Anna’s CN Class ring....

Friday, August 27, 2010 – I called the insurance company to file our claim and had a complete and total melt down Friday afternoon. I sat at work and cried for about 4 hours. And I spent all day at work on Craig’s List looking for places to live

Saturday & Sunday, August 28 & 29, 2010 – I drove around for literally 8 hours each of these days looking at houses, apartments, condos, ANYTHING for rent. I had almost 6 pages of places that I was going to look. I narrowed down my list for Anna – who had to work over the weekend and she visited them on Monday.

Monday, August 30, 2010 – Anna and I settled on a new place to live. One that would be ours, not mine. When she moved in with me, it was supposed to be a temporary thing and then she would move out on her own. Well, after all this mess, we decided that we were getting along and it would work out for us to live together. My landlord was very gracious and let us out of the current lease at the old place!

Tuesday – Tuesday, August 31-September , 2010 – We moved into the new house. Anna and I moved as much as we could with our cars and then my parents came up to help over the weekend. And HUGE thanks go out to Anna’s friend that helped us Friday night. It was really a fantastic move. I don't know that it could have gone much more smoothly. Mom stayed until Monday and helped me unpack, unload, set up, and re-set up our new home. I like it and feel safe here.

It’s just been completely insane. I’ve been so busy since about the middle of July – I can hardly believe that it is September already. In the midst of all this madness, I have been blessed and reminded of God’s graciousness through my sweet friends – Ashley, Melissa, Joetta, Jessica and too many other to name.

Fall is in the Air!

Ok, so Fall isn't REALLY in the air - it's like 97 degrees here in Knoxville today, but the nights are cooler, the days are getting shorter and it will cool down during the day....eventually...Right?  Sometimes I feel like summer lasts forever, but it's already September...when did that happen? 

Up next in my life:
1. Moving - in the process right now and can't wait to get situated in my new home
2. Visiting - friends and being visited by friends. Ashley and Timothy were in town this week.  Really under unfortunate circumstances as Tim's step mother is very sick.  But I got to spend some time with Ashley and Tim and Cooper (their newest addition).  I've also got a few things coming up that involve friends - not just friends from Knoxville but from other places too and I'm looking forward to visiting with them SOON!!
3. Boston - going to Boston at the end of this month.  Just for fun with Nellie and am looking forward to getting out of town for the long weekend.
4. Concert - Mumford & Sons is going to be in Knoxville the first weekend in November and I'm SO looking forward to seeing them live.  I've only recently become a fan but I really like them and can't wait to see them in November.

Hopefully all these GOOD things will be enjoyable and nothing else will happen that can hinder my spirit. I'm looking forward to piecing things back together and settling into my new home :)

COME VISIT!

I've spent the past 4 days....

In tears. 

On Tuesday morning I received a phone call from a Knox County Sherriff.  Someone had broken into my home. They took the things that I hold most valuable - mainly jewelry.  They took my computer, Anna's computer, our digital cameras, and our jewelry.  I have lost some precious gifts from my parents, and some heirloom things of my grandmothers.  I would say that my heart hasn't hurt this bad in awhile but I'd be lying.

I had a little bit of a mini-melt down at work today.  Stupidly enough over my iPod - all I wanted to do last night was listen to my iPod and the battery was dead and I can't charge it because I don't have my computer.  I also don't have my music and my pictures and he deleted all my pictures off of my digital camera - that I did get back.  He even took my own bag - and filled it up with all my stuff.

The good news is that they caught the sorry s.o.b.'s that broke in here.  We got a thing or two back. I know that he's in jail and will be there for awhile.  I'm still crazy nervous and my nosey over-active neighbor is NOT helping the situation. 

The plan: move, as soon as possible.

Canada: Preview

I took about 150 photos from the weekend and plan to upload them to facebook and/or some other places but these are my favorites:

Bridal shower: The Bride - Steph

Rehersal Dinner: Momise, my Beautiful Grandmother

Pre-Wedding: The Parents, Rebecca & Charlie and the Groom - Lou

Post Wedding: Cousins - Rich - the Best Man, Lou - the Groom, me

Sunday Night

Usually, I take Sunday Nights to relax, wind down and prepare for the week ahead.  

Sunday Nights when I've been out of town on fun weekend get-a-ways are always so difficult for me. It's hard to come home and be by myself when I've been with other people for a few days and having so much fun.  Like this past weekend....

I spent the weekend in Nashville with about 10 others from Knoxville to celebrate Nick's birthday.  We had a blast! It was so much fun to be in one city with several friends who were all from another city!  It was a great time of celebrating Nick's life and birthday.  We went to Burger Up for dinner Friday and then to a dueling piano bar afterwards.  It was SO much fun!  The piano guys are so good and it's great to get them to play anything - pretty much anything!  We tipped them to play "The Greatest Country Western Song" and it was awesome!

Saturday night we went to Arrington Vineyards.  It's about 30 minutes south of Nashville and it is beautiful there.  We packed up a spread for dinner and went and picnicked out at the vineyards.  It had just finished raining and was a little wet but it was beautiful there.  They had a band playing a little easy listening tunes and there were tons of people there. It was quite humid but we had a good time just being together!

Brad, Kellye, Latisha, Carly, Nick, Jayme, Bryan, Me, Lori and Bobby...what a fun crowd!

Happy Birthday Nick!

I'd like to take a moment...

To revisit this quote:

"You don't quite know what it is you do want, 

but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so! 

Mark Twain

 I have known for my whole life that there is something else there, something else that can fill that void of want in my life.  In full reality it is Jesus.  Only Jesus.  These things I know in my head and in my heart.  But there are other things that I want for my life.  They make my heart ache I want them so.  I'm waiting.  I'm waiting on Jesus' perfect timing.

I think of these words below and remind myself of DAILY:

God is God.  Because He is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience.  I will find rest no where but in His Holy will, a will that is UNSPEAKABLY beyond my largest notions of what he is up to. 

Elisabeth Elliott

Now to Him who is able to do IMMEASURABLY more than all we ASK or IMAGINE, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be the Glory.

Ephesians 3:20-21

Friendship

Friendship is born at that moment 

when one person says to another: 

"What! You too? I thought I was the only one". 

C.S. Lewis

I love this - I saw it on a friend's fb (Thanks V.A.) this week and I just couldn't help but steal it! 

Crazy

oh. my. gosh. 

I am not even sure where to begin. And I don't know that I could write down everything that I'm feeling and thinking.  My heart and my head are in two different places.  Things have been absolutely CRAZY here, in my life. 

I had the most fabulous, relaxing week at the beach and then I came back to absolute chaos.  Well, that's what I feel like anyway.  I have had plans almost every minute of every day.  And the fun doesn't stop.  I've been working out of town this week and I will be for the next two weeks with plans out of town on the weekends.

This weekend I had planned to go home for Hamilton's birthday party.  The fact that it is at 10 AM on Saturday and the fact that I've been invited to parties in Knoxville on Friday and Saturday nights AND the fact that I'm going to be out of town the next two weekends has influenced my decision to stay in Knoxville.  I would really love to be there but the truth is that I'm not going to be able to spend time with Hamilton at this party.  I'd rather go to Greenville one weekend and hang out with him for the day.  That's my preference.  I'm going to plan a weekend to go down and hang out with Hamilton and Caldwell :)  I think it'd be super fun!

I'll miss seeing the fam this weekend.  

I've been more than a little homesick for SC lately.  

I'm looking forward to heading that way and seeing them in the near future :)

Group Photo

The Fam!  Almost everyone :)

Tourtellottes @ Litchfield

Last week, I spent the week at Litchfield Beach with 63 of my closest family members!  

Sounds crazy, I know, but it was SO much fun!  I know what most of your are thinking..."A week at the beach with that many of my family members - no thanks".  But, I tell ya, we've got something special.  It really was fabulous.


My grandmother Dot (whose maiden name was Tourtellotte), was one of 6.  She had 2 sisters and 3 brothers.  Them, their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren get together every other year for a week at the beach. This whole reunion thing was Dot's idea.  She is so missed.  This September will be 4 years since she passed away.  Everyone talked about her and Baxter all week and how much they missed her and how much they wished Baxter could be there.  He had his 93rd birthday while we were at the beach and he really sounded like he was having a great day.  


This year there were 6 houses of people and each family/household took a night for dinner. So we all share the expenses.  One night, we just did dessert.  People came from California - San Diego, LA; Hawaii, Houston, DC, Northern Virginia, Georgia, all of South Carolina, St. Louis, Kansas City, Oklahoma, and Santa Fe.  I think that's it.  Whew - what a crowd! 


This picture is from our immediate family - Dusty, Smith, Bud, Mary Stewart, Marifrasier, Kelly, Kennedy, me and Mom!  We were the ones left when we took our big group picture - Reed had been down and so had my dad!  I'm kind of shocked that he came but everyone was glad to see him and I was glad he came :)

We really did have a fabulous time.  

It was a welcome break from life.  Since May of this year, I have heard of the tragic, sudden, unexpected deaths of 4 people who have in some way been involved in my life.  My sweet Maeve, a dear friend's cousin, a neighbor my age from Greenville, and now a long time family friend.  Tonight, my heart aches. I mourn the loss of and celebrate the life of David Rogers.  I grew up just down the street from him and his family, attended church with his family and grew up with his children who are a year older and a year younger than me.  They're the kind of people you want to be like.  David was a wonderful man, a great dad, a great husband, a fabulous teacher, a good friend, and mentor. I am glad to know that he is celebrating with Jesus.  I continue to pray for his children and family as they mourn the loss of dad, husband, brother and son.

Part II

Ok, so...it's been a year.  I thought a lot about this post before I wrote it.  I realized that I've been saying a lot of the same thoughts lately and thought I'd take this reflection in a bit of a different direction!

A year in this "new" city.
A year in my new job.
A year with new friends.
A year with old friends.
A year away from Greenville.
A year away from my family.
A year away from Downtown Pres.
A year without a church home.
A year of emotions.
A year of change.

I have begun to think about the things that I've accomplished this last year and well, it isn't much - or I should say, it's not as much as I had hoped.  

• I have kept my job for a whole year.
• I have not gone in to bankruptcy (Thanks BBW3).  
• I have rented in apartment in Greenville.  
• I have kept my awesome apartment here in Knoxville.  
• I have not ruined my car.  
• I have gotten a library card.  
• I have a new roommate.
• I have made new friends.

Over the next year there are several things that I would like to do.   I'd like to use this time to set some goals and really make an effort to acheive those goals on a timely basis - like by this time next year!  In no particular order.....

1.   Begin to pay back debts owed.
2.   Think more positively.
3.   Work toward CPA certification.
4.   Advance in my career.
5.   Travel. (Plans already in the works)
6.   Find a church home and get involved.
7.   Make more time for family.
8.   Exercise more often than not. Continue to lose weight.
9.   Worship
10. Figure out what I'm passionate about in regard to His Kingdom.

A Year Ago Today (Installment 3)

I suppose that I should have written this on Wednesday last week or Saturday...But it's been a whole year since I moved to Knoxville.  I can hardly believe it! I sat down to write this post and now I realize that it's going to take a little more reflection time before I'm prepared to write it!  When I looked back through my blog on the events of the past few years of my life, I find it unbelievable.

Stay tuned...:)

July 4th Weekend

What a fab Independence Day weekend it has been!!

Friday night I grabbed a dinner with Diana and we perused McKays.  I came home and actually went to bed relatively early!

Saturday I drove up to Morristown to spend the day/evening with Whitney's family!  On the way there, I stopped and had lunch with Melissa.  It was so fun to see her, even for just a minute :)  I went on to Whit's and we just sat by the pool, swam, played cornhole, ate wonderful low country boil, and shot off (or watched as the boys shot off) fireworks!  It was great!  A lot of their neighbors were shooting off fireworks too so it was fun to watch those too!

Sunday, I met up with Latisha and went over to one of her friend's houses that has a pool.  We literally sat by the pool all afternoon! It was so relaxing and great!  There were a bunch of people over there and we grilled out burgers and just hung out all day.  It was so nice.  I am still full! We had burgers, guacamole, corn on the cob, grilled asparagus, baked beans, chips, watermelon, and homemade banana pudding! MMmmm!  After dinner we went downtown to another friends house that lives above Market Square.  We went up on the roof of her building to watch the fireworks in Knoxville over the river!  There were tons of fireworks going off in every direction and it was awesome to be on the roof and be able to see them all.  Knoxville put on a pretty great show - 20 to 25 minutes of fireworks so it was great!  We stayed there and hung out for awhile to let the traffic clear and came home late! It was even better because we didn't have to be in the "throng of wife beaters and funnel cakes", as one of Latisha's friends put it! Haha! Although, we did miss out on some GREAT people watching!

 This was our view of the fireworks from the top of Jenn's building.  The fireworks were on the river, just on the other side of the Hilton but we had a perfect view of them from the roof!

Monday - NO WORK!! It is so great to have this day to be lazy.  I'll probably do some cooking, finish up some laundry, read, watch a movie or two, sit on the porch in the sun...should be pretty relaxing.  I'm so looking forward to being lazy!  All the sun this weekend has been great! I haven't even gotten burned so I'm working on my pre-tan for the beach! Can't wait!

I can't think of a better way to celebrate this lifestyle that we've been grated as Americans by the people who have freely given their time and their lives to serve our country. Today I celebrate the One who paid my ransom and set my soul free. and I thank Him for all the men and women who have given their lives for my physical freedom. it is the highest honor to reap from no greater love. "Greater love hath no man than this-that a man lay down his life for his friends." 

Mom's 60th Birthday Party

So, my Mom turned 60 on June 11th. 

And we had a HUGE party for her this past Saturday night! We invited friends from Greer, friends from church, cousins, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandmothers, friends, pastors, children and more friends!

It was SO much fun!

This is the tent/tables/wild flowers/decorations for the party!

We had about 100 guests!

 This is my beautiful family - minus 2 babies, Caldwell (3) and Hamilton (2)

 Caldwell was not so sure about all these people at her house.  Papa was loving on her.

 We had a band! A BLUEGRASS Band!!! Ben did a little pickin' and singin' with them! It was great!  He is such a talented guitarist.

And Cake - lots and lots of Cake.  This is my beautiful Mom and her delicious cake! The band played and sang Happy Birthday to her!

My Beautiful sisters-in-law, Ashley and Beth!

This is my cousin Kelly, her new baby Kennedy, and her dad, my Mom's brother, Bud!

And this is my favorite pic of the night!

It really was a super fun night and I really think Mom enjoyed it! She hasn't stopped saying Thank you! It was so wonderful to be able to be with my family and be able to celebrate something good and laugh together! I also got to visit some sweet Greenville friends.  It was good to see them. This weekend made me pretty homesick for South Carolina.

Mood Radio

For music enthusiasts (and the musically moody) - this just might be the greatest invention of the world. ever. period.

www.stereomood.com


Go here. Pick your mood. Listen!

*Special thanks go to Melissa Summey for introducing this to me!

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to my Papa!

He's pretty much the greatest Dad out there.  I can't imagine what I would do without him.

I am THANKFUL for:

The Father that you are,

The Leader that you are,

The teacher that you are,

The encourager that you are,

The husband that you are,

The grandfather that you are,

The brother that you are,

The man that you are.

Twenty Six

Yesterday, I turned 26!

I loved being 25.  I loved everything about it.  Life during the last year was pretty fantastic.  I had an interview a year ago today actually for the job I have now, got the job, moved to Knoxville and have enjoyed my life here during the last year.  I didn't think that turning into the second half of this decade (my late 20's) would bother me but, I'm not gonna lie, I'm feeling a little old today.  Feeling a little more pressure to take the next step (whatever that may be - I have absolutely NO clue; thankfully Somebody does know...)

So I guess I'm moving on with life today.  It's just another day.  Back to work.  Nothing special.  I do have some exciting things planned for later this year:

• I'm going to the beach in July for the big Tourtellotte Roll Family Reunion.  It's my grandmother's family and we do it every other year and I look forward to seeing everyone and catching up and being at the beach.  It's really a lot of people - my grandmother was one of 6 and it's all of them, their children and now grandchildren and even some great grandchildren!  It really is fun.

• I'm going to Canada in August for my cousin Louis's wedding to Steph.  She's Canadian and they're having the wedding in the town where her parents lake house is.  The reception is at the lake house and it's going to be so much fun.  Not much of my other family members are going - just Louis's brother and parents and our grandmother.  I'm looking forward to getting out of the country! It's been 5 years and I had to get a new passport to do this! It's going to be so much fun!

• I'm going to Boston in September/October with Nellie.  She's a good friend from Greenville and has a traveling spirit and I'm looking forward to taking a vacation with her.  We've both been to Boston before but not as adults and not for an extended couple of days.  It'll be good to catch up with her and get out of town! I'm really looking forward to it!

So - I've got some good things coming up in this 26th year of my life :)

Synchronous Fireflies

The Synchronous Fireflies of The Great Smoky Mountains were amazing.  There's apparently this one specific species of firefly that does this and it can only be seen in TWO locations world wide - China and Gatlinburg.  The lights on the fireflies are more of a white or blue than the normal yellow ones that we seen in our back yards.  And true to the article that I linked to - they started about 9:30 PM.  

We left Knoxville about 3 PM and drove up to get a parking space at the visitors center.  We went on a little hike and I'm not sure I've ever been that sweaty.  It was just so humid.  It wasn't really hot but the humidity was horrible.  It was a nice, light hike.  We came back, ate a picnic dinner and then got in line for an hour and a half to ride the trolley up to Elkmont.  We found a seat in a less crowded area and sat down to watch.  It was really awesome and there were literally thousands of fireflies lighting up the night!  They were beautiful.  And it was incredible to watch them do their thing.  There were so many people up there and I really do think that it might be better to go on a week night - if you can get off work early enough to get up there and you don't mind a late night...Didn't get back to my house until after 1 AM.  I would definitely recommend it.

Mom

Today, I'd like to take some time to be THANKFUL for my Mom!

Today is her 60th Birthday! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!

You are a wonderful friend and a fabulous listener.  I realize that you have put up with a lot from me and you'll never know how grateful I am to have a Mom (and Papa) as wonderful and gracious and loving and kind as you.

I am thankful for: 

the mother you are, 

the friend you've become, 

the friend that I see you be to others, 

the prayer warrior that you are, 

the wife that you are, 

the daughter that you are,

the sister that you are, 

the grandmother that you are

the wonderful woman that you are.

Happy Birthday!

Hope your 60th Birthday is everything you want it to be! I cannot wait to celebrate with you in a few weeks!

June

Well, It's June.  I can't believe it.  I've been in Knoxville almost a year now.  I'm terrified to say this but for the first time in my adult life, I am comfortable.  Life is good.  Things are good.

I'm still hurting in ways that I cannot translate into words after the loss of Maeve.  It's hard to believe it's been a month today. I cannot imagine the way that Gabe and Ashley must be feeling.  It's been hard to be here and away from my family.  It's been hard to not know what to do for Gabe and Ashley.  It's been hard to know how to pray for them. It's been hard to have the faith to know that God is Sovereign and in control.  I wrote in a recently post, the post about Maeve, with an assertive tone, that I knew these things to be true.  And I do - in my head....my heart's another story.

Just today - I felt like Jesus was saying:

"Marie, Give me your whole heart. You can trust me...."